I couldn’t control the restrictive movement, but although I was far removed from this for years, I control how I feel about my movement in my cerebral palsy on my left side.
It’s too strong to say I hated my disability, but just saying that I had one was challenging for a long time. I didn’t want to stick out, have to answer questions with every new discussion – I didn’t want it to be a topic.
That’s changed over years – a transition that felt differently internally about I viewed myself and the structure that has grown with me. From annoyance at what I couldn’t do to accepting that help that could just make things easier, or at the very least, provide more options for me.
My new thinking of controlling how I feel from a negative to positive of what IS possible – with help along the way being part of that – brings empowerment. A sense that I can succeed, with how I can contribute with my body (not despite it).
I’m thankful to be able to control getting up, deciding how and when to train – and now have a platform of equipment to choose how to shape my body & the fact I can mould elements of this through bodybuilding is possibly one of the most powerful.
Having the power to create a structure for the stage is so empowering – that’s why I try to bring my energy to the stage if you’ve ever seen my routines – high energy music, a big smile and getting some reaction from the audience – because, well, we can!
It’s a joy and I’m grateful.
